It has come to our attention that the Worthless Son-in-Laws will be participating in two musical performances this weekend. It is indeed a positive development that we ourselves have received notice of this actionable intel, as we are the said performing group in question, and plan to continue being such, moving forward. We would also like to empower you with the specifics of this buzzworthy cafeteria plan so that you, too, can vertically integrate your elective activities in order to transition to a boots-on-the-ground experience in grey-sourcing your entertainment.
Let’s use this window of opportunity to drill down: we will be conferencing at the Jones House Community Center in Boone, North Carolina, this Friday the 26th of August, at 5:00 PM. Furthermore, in the interests of continuity, scalability, synergy, and a robust capitalization on previous experience and successes, we will then be playing at 3:00 PM on this Saturday the 27th of August at the High Country Beer Festival. One of these performances is low-hanging fruit (it’s right downtown, admittance is complementary); the other sits at a price point of $40 per person and involves ostensibly judicious imbibement of boutique fermented heirloom grain beverages. We leave it to your powers of deduction and econometrics to discern which is which. It’s not rocket surgery.
In these venues, we hope to be leveraging our core competency, which is amplified modulations in tone, melody, and rhythm combined with somewhat fluid laryngeal expression, hopefully in a way that is external to the box, which moves the needle, and which hopefully actions the ultimate end-game of paradigm-shifting transcendence for the listener. Or at least results in his or her taking ownership of a state of pleasant distraction. Consistent with our organizational DNA, we plan to impact our audience with a combined team effort of 110%, the optics of which can’t be overstated.
At this juncture, it’s time to position this virtual goat rodeo at the next level and go for the ask, which is where we reach out (and if we want to engage in best practices, use the imperative form):
Please come see us.
All the best,
The Worthless Son-in-Laws
Gain traction with your friends by evangelizing:
High Country Beer Fest
Notes and disclaimers: The skills ecosystem at the Jones House will include fellow NC songwriters Jay Brown, David Childers, and Aaron Burdett. Coalition partners at the High Country Beer Fest will include the Backsliders and Dead of Winter. Please note that a combined team effort of 110% requires an average effort of only 27.5% from any one member of the band in a quartet situation. There will be no reverse logistics available.