WSiL at Valle Crucis Punkin’ Fest Saturday, Oct. 23, 2010

Dear friends and fan and your three kids,

This Saturday, October 23rd, The Worthless Son-in-Laws will be playing at the Valle Crucis Punkin Festival. This does not mean we will be sporting studded dog collars and mohawks and whipping through our X, Germs, Sex Pistols, and Flipper covers (like last time), but it does mean people with questionable spelling skillz will be hosting a fall-themed festival with pumpkin carvings and crafts and food, etc., and that people with questionable grammar skills (i.e., yours trulies) will be providing quote-unquote “entertainment.”  Despite our presence, this event is considered “kid-friendly.”

The whole deal starts at 11:00 AM and runs until 4:00 PM.  We will play two sets, one from approximately 11:00 AM to 12:30 PM and one from approximately 1:30 PM to 2:30 or 3:00 PM.  There will possibly be some storytellers in the interim. Location is behind the Mast Store Annex on Broadstone Road (down the road from the original Mast Store).

Admission is FREE, but if you have kids, you will end up spending an average of one month’s salary per child for non-nutritive comestibles and participation in various games and pumpkin carving. Which is o.k., because all proceeds go to benefit the Western Youth Network. This will also keep your kids from crying and introduce them to gambling at the same time, which is worth far more than your meager salary.  There will also be face planting.  I mean face painting, but that reminds us that there will also be sack races.

Seriously (srsly), it will be fun and will also support a good cause (and our good friends who work and volunteer for WYN).  It is supposed to be “sunny and pleasant” in Valle Crucis Saturday, which could mean anything, so please come on out.

Love,
The Worthless Son-in-Laws

Disclaimer:  We are not responsible for anything. Please don’t sue us.

WSiL at Boone Saloon with Guard the Van, Oct 14, 2010

Our dear fine friends,

The Worthless Son-in-Laws, in their infinite slackitude, are just now giving you some last-minute notice that we have a show tonight at the Boone Saloon with Guard the Van.  Good news for old people:  we are playing first.  Middling news for old people: starting first probably means 10:30 or 10:45 PM.  You should come anyway, old people.  What other band gives you so much love?

We have bid a fond farewell to our friend and drummer, Lucas Bowman, with whom we have thoroughly enjoyed rocking but who had to move back to the wilds of Maryland to work on getting a “real” job, muttering something about how he couldn’t really survive on the three dollars and forty-one cents the Worthless Son-in-Laws paid him on an irregular basis.  We were hoping he would be able to play this show and make it a proper farewell party, but it was not to be.  It just goes to show, you really can’t expect us to do anything properly.

Not to worry, though–the percussion section will be ably represented by our multi-talented old friend, master of rock (and rock trivia (and general trivia, for that matter)), Boone Saloon employee, Possum Jenkins/Soul Benefactor member, journalist, and all around good guy, Mr. Dave Brewer, who not only is an excellent guitar player, singer, etc., but an excellent drummer, and he also gives us 50 cents each time we put “Mr.” in front of his name.  So, it will still be a party.  (Dude.)

In other news, I (Jimmy) am a proud new daddy of a month-old baby girl. If I fall asleep during our performance, it’s o.k. to come up to the stage and nudge me.  However, if you fall asleep during our performance, we will put your hand in warm water.

Your pals,
The Worthless Son-in-Laws

WSiL with Guard the Van at Boone Saloon, Tonight, Oct. 14

Our dear fine friends,

The Worthless Son-in-Laws, in their infinite slackitude, are just now giving you some last-minute notice that we have a show tonight at the Boone Saloon with Guard the Van.  Good news for old people:  we are playing first.  Middling news for old people: starting first probably means 10:30 or 10:45 PM.  You should come anyway, old people.  What other band gives you so much love?

We have bid a fond farewell to our friend and drummer, Lucas Bowman, with whom we have thoroughly enjoyed rocking but who had to move back to the wilds of Maryland to work on getting a “real” job, muttering something about how he couldn’t really survive on the three dollars and forty-one cents the Worthless Son-in-Laws paid him on an irregular basis.  We were hoping he would be able to play this show and make it a proper farewell party, but it was not to be.  It just goes to show, you really can’t expect us to do anything properly.

Not to worry, though–the percussion section will be ably represented by our multi-talented old friend, master of rock (and rock trivia (and general trivia, for that matter)), Boone Saloon employee, Possum Jenkins/Soul Benefactor member, journalist, and all around good guy, Mr. Dave Brewer, who not only is an excellent guitar player, singer, etc., but an excellent drummer, and he also gives us 50 cents each time we put “Mr.” in front of his name.  So, it will still be a party.  (Dude.)

In other news, I (Jimmy) am a proud new daddy of a month-old baby girl. If I fall asleep during our performance, it’s o.k. to come up to the stage and nudge me.  However, if you fall asleep during our performance, we will put your hand in warm water.

Your pals,
The Worthless Son-in-Laws