O.k., we know you’re going to see Gillian Welch, but just humor us.
This Friday, August 26th, at 7:00 PM, the Worthless Son-in-Laws will be playing the annual “picnic in a thunderstorm” event at Valle Crucis Park, a special subseries of the Valle Crucis “Music in the Park” series. This show is free and open to the unsuspecting public.
Last year at this event, we played to several intrepid picnickers huddled under the pavilion near the stage while frightened children and dogs clung to their legs, their hot dog and hamburger buns disintegrating into a paste resembling wet toilet paper. They were not too happy about this, but they did think it was pretty cool to be able to fold potato chips in half without breaking them. Since these people have certainly learned their lesson, we will need some new blood out there this year. This is where you come in.
Yes, it may be slightly uncomfortable at the time, but you can always laugh about it later, and you’ll end up with cherished memories that will last a lifetime if you don’t subsequently do anything else very interesting, and you can pass them down to your children and grandchildren and enjoy the thought that these stories will be a key part of your family’s oral history until you realize your family fell asleep listening to you about half an hour ago.
And to really give it the hard sell, for those of you who enjoy a certain class of entertainment, we would remind you that there is pretty much no possibility of seeing anyone get struck by lightning in Farthing Auditorium.
Even if there are no lightning injuries, there will be something worth seeing. We are pleased–nay, stoked–to announce that a special guest will join us for this performance (and we are not talking about some shirtless dude spontaneously jumping onstage to do the noodle dance). No, Boone’s own insanely talented Melissa Reaves will be sitting in with us for a few songs on violin and vocals. We are very excited to be playing with an actual musician, which is almost as cool as seeing someone get hit by lightning. Although she may be sorry she agreed to share the stage with us, you will not be. Seriously, she sounds amazing.
So, good friends, we hope to see you soon.
The Worthless Son-in-Laws
Disclaimer: We can take no responsibility for anyone being struck by lightning during our show. The National Weather Service reports that you have a 1 in 10,000 chance of being struck by lightning during your lifetime. The official odds of someone being struck during a Worthless Son-in-Laws performance is a secret closely guarded by the NWS, but an inside source who will remain unnamed told us it’s probably no more than 1 in 5. And since we are tempting fate by rambling on about it (and will be in close proximity to a lot of electrical cords and equipment), the victim will most likely be one of the band members, which will serve us right, as some people we know have actually been hit by lightning and find the experience nothing to make light of. FYI, the current odds of winning the NC “education” megamillions lottery are 1 in 175,711,536, and if you win, we will take responsibility for that and will expect at least a 20% cut. If you’re not playing the lottery, you may be able to make some real cash by selling your Gillian Welch ticket. Just please don’t sell it to Rob.