Dear friends, comrades, and fellow involuntary members of the community of tarnished reputations:
You may have read in the paper alongside our ancient publicity photo that we are playing the Riverfest celebration in Valle Crucis this Saturday. As much as we like rivers, and as much as we like to believe everything we read in print, this rumor has no basis in fact. It is also not true.
However, and fortunately for us, we will be playing later that same day at Todd Park, which is also near a river. For those of you with calendars, that’s 2-4PM on this Saturday, July 24th.
Todd Park is a place with nice grass, some trees, a creek, and a stage in the heart of beautiful and historic Todd, North Carolina. Bring a chair or a blanket and maybe some sort of shade-producing device such as an umbrella, a sombrero, Conan hair, or an extra-large mono-brow. You can also bring a picnic, if you need a second lunch or an early dinner, or food and drinks are available from the adjacent nearby local stores which are right in the vicinity proximate to the park.
The first 50 people there dressed as a Chik-Fil-A cow will get in free! (And just so you know, so will anyone else, as this is technically a free show, but it sure would be entertaining for the rest of us if you came as a cow).
Feel free to forward this message to any unsuspecting individuals as a test of the bounds of your friendship.
In solidarity,
The Worthless Son-in-Laws