The Worthless Son-in-Laws,
sons-in-law of various mothers-in-law who have chosen to remain unnamed,
request the honor of your presence
even if your honor has been besmirched a bit already
at our
Album Release Party
for our new album
Resplendent Verge
on Saturday
the twenty-first of July, two thousand eighteen
that means this Saturday
you know, like July 21st, 2018
only written out in words instead of numbers
and probably said with a British or at least a Charleston accent
At eight o’clock in the evening
(that’s 8:00 p.m., numbers nerds)
at the Boone Saloon
Boone, North Carolina
so you can hang out and talk some before
music begins promptly at nine p.m. in the post meridian
(9:00 p.m. in the p.m.)
you’re welcome, old people
we will have unintelligible stage patter
where you understand every third or fourth word
it’s alright just laugh when everyone else does
With special guests
Earleine, Noelle Austin, and Aaron Ballance
because they are amazing
and well we need all the help we can get
Formal dress not required
thank god
but it can’t hurt, either
A small donation at the door of five dollars is requested
and is not really technically a donation
since we aren’t a charity
so even if you are just being charitable
you can’t write it off on your taxes
unless you are entertaining business clients or something
otherwise you can stand outside on the sidewalk
and pretend to smoke
or actually smoke
but for liability purposes we will note here that smoking will usually eventually kill you
and you can look through the window
but it makes those people at the window table nervous
when you do that
There will be merchandise for sale
including the new compact disc
whatever that is
that we probably shouldn’t sell before the official release date
but you are our friends so it’s o.k.
&
we’re actually kind of proud of it
&
we want you to hear it
&
we have t-shirts
so we can supplement the millions of dollars
we already make
every time you stream one of our songs on Spotify or Pandora
The Boone Saloon will be purveying various alcoholic and non-alcoholic libations
& comestibles
in exchange for any money you have left over
after buying CDs and t-shirts for all your relatives
Please come
because we like you
and because your friends will be there
especially if you invite them to come with you
and who else is going to give you a ride home otherwise
and also because we only have an album release party
every five or seven years or so
So, really.
Thanks.
Love,
The Worthless Son-in-Laws